Wow so it's only been like 5 months since my last update. Its been a roller coaster ride since I have been back. Well even before that. I was supposed to stay on another year in the oh so fun land of Taliban. Got an offer to come home and took it. Life has been good all in all. Took a few vacations and started to remember what life was all about. Sort of. I have been struggling with a few things as a lot of you know. Most of the stuff really coming out when I drink. Hence the reason I stopped drinking unless its a social thing. Even then I hesitate. Unfortunately I give in to peer pressure a little to easy, lol, but all in all I have not had too many negative things come up.

I got 2 offers to head back to Afghanistan. I thought a long time about it. I mean a real long time. Stressed about it for 5 days and finally decided that I think I want to be home for awhile. I have a few things to work through here and believe it or not, I want to re-establish a few relationships and maybe start a few new ones.

Thank you to everyone that has helped me along the way and I know that I don't show it enough, but I appreciate all of you. Thanks again.

I was watching Scrubs just today and well...one of the most memorable things I have ever heard was said during the show. Here it is as follows:

"Things rarely go the way you want them to...so sometimes you just make due with what you get. Endings are never easy, I always build them so much in my head that they can't possibly live up to my expectations that I just end up disappointed. I'm not sure why it even matters to me so much how things end here. I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is very important. That people hang on to our every word. That they care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you can even occasionally get to make someone, anyone feel a little better. After that, it's all about the people you let in to your life. And as my mind drifted to faces I have seen here before...I was taking the memories of family, of co-workers, of lost loves, even of those that have left us, and as I rounded that corner they all came at me in a wave of shared experience. And even though it felt warm and safe, I knew it had to end. It's never good to live in the past too long. As for the future it could be anything I wanted it to be."

When I think about just what is being said...yes it can be condensed, but none the less...it is still powerful. I guess I really start to reflect more on my life on a regular basis and try to hold on to things in my life more now than ever and I can feel needy and I suppose it is the reason I feel hurt by a lot of things more now a days than when I was younger. I start to realize that as I get older, the things from the last 10+ years have to change. Nothing I really want to face, but it is a fact that people grow and move on. I kind of want to just hold on to things the way they are.

I really have no idea what the future holds for me. I just hope that I am blessed with as much in the future as I have been in the last decade. With that being said...

Happy Birthday Heath!
Happy Birthday Lauren!

I will be home soon and we can celebrate!

The other night I happen to be talking to a great friend and she happened to ask me how the bug problem was. I nonchalantly answered that it's nonexistent. Which is very true since we have been in the winter months and just like most places...bugs do not run rampant in winter. Well it turns out that there is something of an infestation that occurs here every year and its by large flying beetles. This place has turned in to Klendathu! For those that do not catch the sci fi reference...think Starship Troopers. These damn things have no remorse either...they will fly right at you and then just crawl all over you. I am not amused.

Ok so it seems that my brother is looking to me to update this thing...and yes I have been slacking. Needless to say I have been putting in 70-80 hour weeks since I got back to Trashcanistan and updating my site has really taken a back seat. Had a couple of rocket scares as you can see from other posts on here...and well last night we had another one. It must be Spring time in the Himilayas cause the Taliban want to go out and play...someone should tell them that the weather is still not nice enough to be outdoors. I have been walking around in mud for the last week.

Anyway...I am trying to decide just how bad I want to take a few days away from here...but am having a hard time justifying it. I want to get home and see everyone and maybe plan something with just the close friends. Who knows though.

Well that is all I have on my mind for now...then again...its 1124PM local time and I have been up since 7am so things on my brain are limited to sleep and making sure to not get hit by random fire. lol. I love my job! 0.o

Yes I know it's been a month. Sorry. There has been a lot of buzz in the news world about the happenings here in Afghanistan and just to give you an update...yes there have been a few attacks...and yes...one was very and I mean very close. Needless to say though...I am alive as this post will show. lol. Nothing more I can really say right now...a little run down and ready for another vacation.